I NEVER KNEW WHO I RESEMBLE UNTIL I MET A STRANGE WOMAN!

 

Photograph of myself - 2020

ONE OF THE OLDERST  QUESTIONS I EVER HAD WAS "WHO'S IMAGE DO I CARRY?"

I am one of those many out there who lived with only one parent. For me it was my mom. That life was very eventful; things hadn't been that easy. Stuffs happened. A countless stories to be told later.  

To a bit of an extent, I recall a few things that are yet so obscure. I remember sitting on my dad's laps spinning around the steering wheel of a blue MITSUBISHI L200. I enjoyed those beautiful things dad used to bring home from Port Moresby and other big places. I remember dad connecting electricity home, powered by generator and  lighting up wooden houses. We could have our plates full of food varieties every single meal. I saw a lot of people living with us; most of them worked for us actually. I thought they were my relatives. They would treat me like better than special. During those days, I used to call someone a "Papa." And with him in the house, the few moments together had always been without showers.  

The 'Papa' name sounded so much better than sweet. No other name could ever replace that. Sadly however; it was removed of me and my other siblings just a few years after. For me, it must have been only two or three. That name wasn't mine to be called again. Mom said I wouldn't. The reason was certain too; there wasn't the Papa around anymore. We saw him taking a clear path when he left. Not as too often he leaves to POM, or not as for few days he stays out and return. This time we all witnessed him leaving and forever.  

Sadly it feels like a set of events that go by within seconds in a movie. I don't remember many things happened or done then with dad. Sometimes I try to rally stories and events together to ponder on, but a huge cloud veils my memory every time I try. I am lost to picture dad and his face  in my mind forever. We had many photo albums though. Most of them contained dad's photographs when he'd been working in Wewak, Aiyura and some other places. But I have no clue who took them. I never had a photo of him ever since.

I and my other siblings learnt to accept that our dad was gone. Maybe I'll see his face someday in the after life - if that's how it is out there. We well adapted.  Nothing ever reminded me of that better and a very short life we once had with dad anymore. It slept on as if all that sunrise with dad had just been a momentary rainbow stretched out on an afternoon shower. 

Sometimes when thoughts round me up my heart craves to see at least a picture of dad. Or to resemble his looks with any of us - his sons. I had this questions ever since "who do I resemble, my mom or my dad?" No one ever told me - not even my mom until I met a stranger few years back.

The 7th of January, 2017 was a momentous day ever. The rising sun above gloomy clouds of eastern horizon gave off an enduring smile of a great intensity. Its unbending rays through holes within walls interrupted our embraces on pillow in the highland's cold. The morning Melidectes of Lumbipaka heights flopping on tree branches and leavers reminded us of the greater inspirations to be given forth in that day at Kakaliaka Junction.   

In this place I was known to only the family that housed us. Nobody I knew ever lives there. I expected to meet no one. I was a complete stranger in that locality that moment. There's a distant aunty who lives there though. On this day her involvement was impossible. There's no way she got involved in what transpired that filled in a lasting gap in my whole life. 

We got our gears sat and rallied them down to the venue we were suppose to speak. We made an announcement to speak the other day afternoon, so, it wasn't a surprise when we saw a huge crowd already gathering around that place. I could hear people mummering and whispering to each other pertaining to what we were about to deliver. They showed so much interest. In this circumstance, we couldn't let a moment pass by, or couldn't we keep the huge crowd in suspense. 

For this event the entire week, I was the chairperson. I had to speak before the others, after and towards the end of awareness. While delivering speech at Kakaliaka, my eyes caught up with an elderly woman, who I noticed could never  for once look away. She fixed her eyes so hard on me. Sometimes she could give up a nice simper on her face, tapping on another elderly woman sitting next to her. She really posed a great interest on my presentations. 

Right after we closed the awareness with a word of prayer that strange, uneasy lady was already by my side holding me tight right across my abdomen. "Mama, emb nabaen ikining lam onk (so you are really that my son ah)." This lady put me to a stance of endless questions. She didn't give me options so I could choose from. She gave me no clue. She claimed with an extensive confidence. How could a strange lady from nowhere just call me her son? My mom never told me that she had a sister who got married to that place. I never saw this lady before - never in my lifetime. I was at a no man's land. And yet a strange lady could call me her son; how was that even possible?

As an elderly mother she quickly figured I was lost in my thoughts. She knew I needed answers for why she called me her son. And thus, she asked me "son do you think it's that hard to tell whose son you're and where you're from?" I couldn't interrupt when a strange lady was closing in on me with something I never heard before. "Namb Kaipae an andak taeg onk. Embaen mamam Kaipae Leng mend arom lesam sigip daa? (english: I am Kaipae's wife. Does your mother ever tell you about Kaipae)?"

This name 'Kaipae' immediately reminded me of my dad. My mother tells me of him (Kaipae). He used to be my dad's business partner and in some ways very related. Kaipae is from the tribe of Sai from Murip and had been one of the few major business men in my entire district around 1980s. I have heard of his name from my mom and others. He was my dad's closest friend, a relative and a business partner too. But during those days, I was never born yet. When this elderly mother said she was Kaipae's wife I could feel a conviction so easily within  my heart. It felt as if the the woman and I have known each other for a long time. 

She told me my forehead, my nose, my ears, my simper and the way I presented myself in speech were all exactly like my dad's. She said my dad used to have those which made it very possible for her to identify me so easily. No wonder now she called me son with so much confidence. No wonder she held me tight. Yes, she knew me better by my looks. She knew whose son I was; she knew where I was from. She knew I was my father's son. On this date, right at 12 o'clock noon she made me realize that I resemble my father.   

My message to the people reading: 

You may be living with your dad now, or you lost him already, or you never had one in your life. It does NOT matter. You're NOT a cross-breed species. You came to earth through a father and no matter what you still resemble your father's image! Do NOT Ever ask a lot of questions. Shout out & have it claimed heartily "I WAS, I AM & I WILL ALWAYS BE MY FATHER'S SON!"